stupid-Ness

I felt so sad today.
I  just feel like to cry out loud without care whether my eye will puffy or anyone else can hear me crying.

Scotland -Sea scenic from behind the Duorobin Castle

I super duper worried about my family!
Taught everything is fine but it's not!
Damn it!
Have many sibling is not a good thing!
If they can listen to you and be more mature then good! 10 sibling I also wish to have but the thing is why they so stupid and act so immature?!

Why they must let others who love them worried all the times?Damn ! My dad busy with his working and have no times to taking care of us. What he can do is pay us what we wants as he can afford. So I can say I be an eldest in my family so I have the responsibility to take care of my siblings. Sometimes I just feel like don't want to care so much anymore but I just can't do it.

I intently to take care of my family and you won't believe that I'm the one who have the highest power in my home *everyone is scared of me when I get angry and scolding at them*except I don't pay them $$ that's why I have no power of reward so they wont listen to me sometimes! sometimes they does respect me but not always for the 2 stupid bro&sis kids! ( luckily I still have the other 2 bro sis that very listen to me, I felt grateful^^)

When and what time they only know how to use their brain to think?
They really make me pissed off! I give them abundant of advices!!! they don't put in their heart! I used hard and mean ways to solve the problem it's doesn't work on them!

Damn! how I'm suppose to do and what I'm suppose to give then you all only can be more mature and don't hurt my=urs parents?huh!?? Damn. You all only comes back home when you in trouble! what you all treat your parents are?you both stupid kids!!!

Especially both Kin my house is damn STUPID! please don't "Sia Sui" (humiliate) my dad anymore !!please stop!stupid kids you were but I know it's impossible you both will change! If yes I think the sun will rise from west already! The sky will rain with the red color and not clear fluid anymore! ( Ti lok Ang Hor ar* Hokkien*)
you both just destroyed your own future stupid idiot!

I just stay and watch how long dad is going to cover everything for you all stupid kids! I can't stand anymore, I wont flinched anymore!! How nice if you all is not someone I care and love then I will be more release with my life goes on. They do make me unhinged! ARGH!!!

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World is like that! sometimes you put f**king lot of efforts on something that you have high expectation on it then end up you dint get what you deserve or even a balance rewards! f**king pain wei! f**king lame! this is so called real world! I'm pretty sure this will happen more on my working life f**king soon! What to do? I still have to bear with it! or I should think more toward in optimistic way in future or present! f**ked up life !!!!
MariMari Hom! I should cool down! After I scold the F**k words, I will be feel more relieve and I have no idea why it's happen and works on me! No FAIR in this world! there is only realistic appear in front of you!
So just take it and bear with it for the rest of your life. It's sound so pessimistic right? ouh god! I shouldn't have this kind of thought! Devil please me! stop it! haiz~~~

 Fuh!!!! haiz~~~