met with the creature

Today, after wake up at 10am, I have stretch my body and walk slowly to the balcony and look out to the sky ....
Today the sky just look so grey and the weather just breezy~
No sun for few days already but i love it cause i hate hot!

Actually recently the sky also full of the haze... after that heavily rain in KL.
My day just like a weather , some times sunny sometimes raining and sometimes just grey....
who have that capability to make my mood become more stable and cheer all the times?
sigh!!! what am doing right now? playing a fire?
put my life at risk?
where suppose I should go and what suppose I should do right now?
just go with the flow?
Ten more days will be 2011 ...
New year
What is in my mind? I just feel like I'm suffering all the times and been torturing for one whole years since I had met a creature in my life.
so confuse.