feeling

Sometimes I felt myself so hard to survive in this world, I hate myself why don't appreciate and happy with what I have from the beginning till now~ that so simple that I ask for all this while is only HAPPY ...
This is what I want all this times but someone can't give me ~

Sometimes what I want from others is more than from what I can expect.
No matter how hard someone try to make it happy if that person don't have that feeling mean it won't be have that feeling ~If that person have that kind of feeling even a small thing you did to them, they will feel so happy for that small thing you did.

I have no idea what wrong with me this few weeks he just keep appear in my mind no matter where I went and what I did.

Sometimes I really won't realise that all this while, from what I request is it too much or such a simple thing that I wish to make my life be more happier but someone just can be treat it as hard to commit on it.

I miss so much with that moment when we together but I knew it can't go back to the past or live like last time...and I shouldn't do that too.
When I flip over the album that belong to us~ =..) It just make me even miss that moment when we are together =..)

I just hide my feeling so hard all this while. :.../
Why must I have to do such a stupid thing =../
I want to scream it out loud that I just miss you so much!!!!!

I miss the routines that belongs to us: message end with something, when sleeping, when eating, when drinking, when at home, when ......... *secret*
 it's turning out to become part of my habits in my life.
 and now I have to rearrange everything in my life again.
I don't dare to go back my home cause this time is a little bit different from last time.
so I was trying to avoid the memories/routine come and haunted me again. =.../ (cry it out loud)

but please I know myself have to fade and trying to hard to bleach everything that we been through before~
when I think of how you treat me (bad or good), my eyes just can't stop to shed tears.

What happen now it was happened so there is no U turn for it anymore.
What I can do is to keep it as the sweetest memories forever or just erase everything in my mind and replace a new hard disk.

p/s: I seriously need to hide everything about you from my sight now~ I will try my best to hide everything belongs to you since you have your own new life with your new love one~ so it's the times I should let go and move on. I knew I shouldn't freeze the times at the past. (=.../

*I just can't stop missing you*

friends

sometimes I feel so tired with myself~with my thought and personalities
but I know I should appreciate with what I have now~ ^^
other than family bf is the closest people who you live with~

I wish I can meet someone who can cheer me up and make me laugh like my friends does~
I love my family and friends so much~

people always like that~

they always won't keep the promise that they were made before. Don't commit if you think you can't~
 it is so realistic and back to original form when they can't get what they desire ~
that why I prefer to be friends than a more than just a friend ~

hmm~~
I feel so comfortable with my real friends and I felt so uneasy with those who doesn't treat me as their real friend. I feel so weird and feel like something was wrong ~ =.=! maybe I had think too much ~

I just feel so uncomfortable and I don't wish my friends not being real to me~
if don't like me than just stay away from my life or I will go off from your sight~
but please don't ever try to make my day so uncomfortable ~

please no one was perfect in this world and of cause I know who I am and what is my weaknesses
 if can't accept who I am please leave me quietly ~
tq~

p/s: thanks for my buddy who always stay besides me when I need them all the times from the very beginning till now. thanks for those who always be my good listeners to listen  my complaints and never get bored of it.
^^ I'm glad that you guys are my friends and I <3 you all~

girl's heart

girls always like that.
no matters how their bad guys treat them and hurt them

when he is in front of you
your heart beat will still very fast and your nerves will still shivering
when you see him you will still feel very happy even you know he is going to forget about you

........................................

WTF!!! my owner going to increase my rent and put it in a year contract in that way of fucking impolite.
WTF wey~ do I owe you?

=..(
don't you think I need to look some others place or still stay with the same room ?

I do got lots of memories here do you think I need to get rid of it ?

Don't you think I need some new environment ?

Fuck! no thing and making so much of trouble to me! FML!!!!

 when we went for a riding with a gang of new friends

first dinner

 Fukuya 

We had ordered some dishes and tried out their cuisine

here it is~ ^^

This is my favorite salmons sashimi 

I love the most  

Salmon skin salad

Cha Soba

 I love the dinner so much and thank you so much =)

last week I went to Pakson to get some skin care for myself.

It's the time for me to take care of my skin and pamper myself..

I'm so happy with I experience tonight and I did appreciated it so much but too bad I'm not ready for it yet.
I'm so sorry .

I still can't let go of someone and he still keep appear and running in my mind every single second =..(
my mind just can't peace like a lake =(

I need some times to fade and forget about the feeling I had like the past.
I knew I need a new life but I'm seriously not ready for it.

I wish I will use a shorter times to fade the past feeling.

Sunshine

when I pass through Ampang  I saw this in front of my windscreen so I had decided to take down

so you can see the sunshine from the sky?

Even look nice in real =)

I went to KLCC with Seow last two weeks 

I saw this shop so cute and girlie 

there is a various of desserts and ice cream over there...

 

 so tempted =P

see the ice cream so colourful

Seow my senior also my ex - colleagues 

Don't you think it look like a little bit chocolate factory which in 

movie who is the main character - Johnny Depp

bosses

Sometimes I just felt like even an old people also will act and think like a little cute kid.
As I know from what happen with our unit and compare with others,
How is that possible a boss don't try to protect their own staff but push her own staff to wall?
but other bosses try to help someone who need help in that moment.

Seriously? how could be so selfish and always think about her own self and never try to put in other shoes.
So random I felt that I love all my colleagues and all bosses except her.
suddenly I felt that they are so cooperative and helpful when we are need help.

but of cause not all of them are so kind and helpful like some others.
^^
I'm felt glad that I able to know them and work together with them ^^

even some other bosses will ask for hang out, ask us to have some drink and eat some nice foods... that awesome~~

 I love meatballs porridge which my grandmama cook.

but this time I tried to cook meatballs porridge and taste my cook whether cook like my grandmama or not.

First of all , of cause we need meat to be chop until it become minced meat.

below is the ingredients that we need

I love egg

so after the porridge cooked I break an egg into bowl and hmmm~~~

Tadah~~ I love the porridge that I cooked.  yum yum~

heart broken

I seriously had no idea why he just keep on come and disturb my life and my soul when am about to forget and fading everything about it.

How could be treat me such a way?
Am I deserve on that way.  T.T

Please . stop hurting my <3 and stop breaking my <3 again and again.
stop. I can't take it anymore. Please ~

I don't want to be collapse and I just wish to have a normal and simple life like others does... =../
why? why ? is that too much ? T.T
 Am I too demanding for a simple and normal relationship?

my seriously can't take it anymore.
If you wish am happy please disappear from my eye sight.

tq.

p/s: I know what my <3 want and am very clearly what I want for my life~

Chuai Heng Restaurant

Before I back to hometown we went to Chuai Heng restaurant which located Jln imbi ,it's quite near to pavilion to have our pre CNY dinner .


here is the environment

we never order this dishes caused we can't finish it.

shark fin soup

shark fin soup with bean sprout 

first time to try this.

 

wow check out the shark fin..

yea i know it's sinful ...

but this is the first time also the last time I had shark fin ...

^.-

I love their Bei Jing Duck 

it was sooooooooo yummy and crunchy + smell goods too

 

 

black pepper duck 

 

eii~~ I not really like this

abalone superb expensive.=.=!

 

hmm yum yum ~ I love steam fish the most!!!!

 

asparagus my love one!!!!!

Next time I will bring my parents an my grandmama to have dinner over here. 

it's a nice place and recommended for old man ^^

thumps up!!!

OTW back to hometown

let's do some sharing with you guys when I back to hometown when CNY 

yea yea~ I know it had past long ago now only I post it =P

when pass by Tanjung Malim R&R 

walao ey!!! extremely jam and all the cars are park until beside highway

and caused massive jam start from SG Buluh to Tanjung Malim ...

 =.=

 

Luckily I "seng mok"(Smart) =P I know when need to use emergency lane wuahaha~

It was so jam I still got some times to snap some picture...hehe
see!!!! so congested ...
and half way I stop at Tapah R&R to pump my petrol and take some rest for few minutes

It was heavy rain when am on the way back ....sad~the rain heavy until I can't see anything front my windscreen. luckily I smart =P I able to manage it back home safely to see my family hehehe~

wow!! this lorry sai hmm sai ngam close to other lorry ar~~

In conclusion I need to use around 5 hours to reached my home...

past Valentine day

Finally I feel like to update my blog at this time @ 3am
my feeling was suc*k , and heart break
 I was crying like hell. T.T

Today someone had made my day and also someone who break my heart deeply.
luckily I got bunch of friends who able to accompany and make me smile on tonight.

I think everything just end like that.
It never happen before. the lunar calender mention about this year is not a good year for dragon year.
fall under relationship mostly will be a loneliness year for us? is that will happen on me?

I still waiting for the surprise from him but end up i get nothing from him.
no surprise is my surprise =..)


just end like that?
sob sob =..(