wondering

no matter where I go
no matter what I do
no matter who I with
also have the scary scar around me but I wont show it obviously to people cause am not someone who love to grab attention and gain people sympathy! am not him=.)love to show some scars to others ..please be more mature~once thing up to like this there is not return for anyone... try to use brain to think before you did it...
I know what to do so no need to remind me again=.) thanks anyway 

no matter what I listen what I hear

when looking someone who just look like him

damn, make me feel awful.

wondering, you will wondering all the times

you just fucking can't stop what you wonder all the times.

damn it!

why should I care so much huh? fuck my life!

no point to update right? argh!!!!

=..( sob sob

just keep on looking the car/bike he drive/ride before

just cant get rid of it. 

it true . not easy to forget something that had carve deeply inside your heart.

I know how it feel finally.

all my mind only got the memories that it just left over

no matter how I try that hard not to think about it but ..... you will just keep on thinking what you use to do with them . text-ing , call-ing, dinner-ing, sleep-ing, everyth-ing~ =..( just everything.... will adapt to new environment soon...people always hate changes , they feel more secure when the thing not change...

=..(

what is on my mind right now?
what the fuck
it really make me feel miserable
will end soon
It's gonna end soon

other people just enjoying their life over there without any hard feeling
but am just stupid who think of the people all the times
I just make myself suffer
why? Why i still so care about it? meaningless
no point right? ;..(
what for crying every single second?
why heartache all the times when I know something that I don't wish to know=..( * sob sob*
once you love someone you will acting something crazy and stupid that try to get back them to you.
This is so call stupid from what other people always say to you.
they wont care how much they will sacrifice  

when I looking at other couples was so sweet and lovely...

why I cant have one?

I just need a simple person who honest and love me .

not hiding and lying to me all the times. just that simple!

is that hard for you? huh?

why other love the other one so much and protect them all the times but not you?

how lucky I am .... 

I know I still can be better.

am just lost

I trying keep trying

but failed

=''(

guilty

save for other in future who are worth for me to do that.

learning , experiencing, growing in future=..)

really sorry about my emotion lately was so terrible .
I will blog anything except his stuff anymore....
I should stop it as soon as possible.

ass hole

No idea why my life become like that.

No idea why I have to face this kind of crazy life

=..( sob sob *crying out loud*

I really suffer of it.

It had me get hurt by physically and mentally being hurt seriously 

internal injury 

external injury 

all come and looks for me

Mentally  nerveless seriously

Physically crashed seriously

 What the Karma comes to me

Its really hurt me deeply

ok. I should stop this to happen on me anymore.

I really almost get kill and die today.

 my head and neck get hurt and pain. 

I can't even breath properly right now.

My head damn pain. seriously hurt from it
am just feel like to vomit for the whole day
my neck and throat still not feeling well
but my head is extremely injured and suffer headache now
hope no side effect in future
my hands and legs all pain and bruise all around...
all blue black ....
how ugly it is...
luckily my family don't know about it.
I just don't want they worried about me.
they have been worried about me after am coming back from UK.

awful
It's really awful
ya. we're still young
ya. we're not mature enough to settle the things up
ya. am just so wrong to do this to everyone
ya. am just stupid
ya. am just cant control what my brain think about.

don't have my picture in his room but ....
Frame it Vietnam's prostitute picture
how ridiculous it is? huh? fucker right? ass hole and bastard huh..
gosh! what the fuck it is?
animal?
no feeling one?
sometimes animal does have feeling...
but it's not....
how pathetic it is.

  he just make me been acting like a kids recently
he just make my blog dirty and ruin my images in front of everyone.
fuck him .....
Finally! finally he wont come and stalk me
and disturb my  life anymore.
how release I am.

make myself busy busy and busy....
this is the only thing i cant do right now
:_(

love is not all around

 She doesn't trust anyone but herself,

in the end there is no real love will exist in her life cause she doesn't trust true love and over protect herself from getting hurt.

It's easy to trap by betrayal.
It's not easy to love by someone.

Sometime there is always camouflage exist when there is something suppose not your.

You will meet and choose to trust a fake love . hey! It's true!

and the true love will be camouflage by something not real from what you see.

People always not willing to step out from that cycle and risk yourself 

but once they did risk themselves to step out from the safest place in the end you will make a wrong decision to choose a " chao ngeng ngeng"(rotten fruits) or you will have a happily ever after. In our life there will be high or low risks around us.

So I just have to accept it.
I know it take times to fading everything that you don't want to remember
I know it slowly to forget about it
slowly to get used to it
slowly to accept it
slowly not to update
slowly not to know about everything from "it"
slowly not to miss
slowly not to think
slowly not to get jealous
slowly not to heart pain cos of "it"
slowly not to love
everything will be fading by times

am gonna make it this time.
I feel it
I sense it
I capable of doing this
I know am gonna move on

Impossible

 

I love the lyrics deeply rooted in my heart 

It's just so right and so true.

Shontelle

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did, I did

And you were strong and I was not

My illusion, my mistake

I was careless, I forgot

I did

And now when all is done

There is nothing to say

You have gone and so effortlessly

You have won

You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof tops

Write it on the sky line

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard

Falling for betrayal is worst

Broken trust and broken hearts

I know, I know

Thinking all you need is there

Building faith on love and words

Empty promises will wear

I know, I know

And now when all is gone

There is nothing to say

And if you're done with embarrassing me

On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof tops

Write it on the sky line

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible!

Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof tops

Write it on the sky line

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did..

forgive and forget

Don't give up cause I know someone in someday will complete my missing puzzle in my life

Don't look back with those terrible life.

Don't give up to this world 

there still a shine in a darkness world.

*cross finger*

I have to keep myself busy busy and busy

I can't just sitting at home do nothing and 

I just can't allow myself to simply create some pessimistic imagination for myself!!
please!!!
evil just leave me alone don't ever come and visit me again!
I have to chuck the devil from my mind and "someTHING" that hurt and harm my life

ARGH!!! argh!!! argh!! (shake my head till my head going to break apart from my neck)
I just feel like going to die!can't event stand up
I just wish I can get a nice rest for myself.please~
sob! sob!

I felt awful, miserable in this year

This is a extremely bad year for me

sigh!

I don't know how long am gonna stand for it.
I just try my best to forgive and forget
I wish I cant do it
This is not my year

two months left
"please faster pass this year or bad thing then I know am gonna have a nice new year for me."
I have to keep persuade and tell myself about that

I almost collapse *actually i was collapsed already* :..(

I don't know whether how long I'm gonna support for it

It was so terrible for me

I get a very brutal experience and cruel times who totally destroyed my personal to everyone
is "IT" I hate "it" forever!
 but I know it gonna pass soon and erase everything that I wish
not to miss
not to think
not to care
not to worry
not to love

cause it doesn't needs anymore =..)

I just pray hard a little times does heal everything SOON
pray hard for me please!
 It's really a hard year for me since I met "it"
 Can't blame anyone now.
the only person can blame is myself

I have to meditate in depth and make a self-criticism for this time.
I have too~
I always tell myself not to be like that but .....
in the end I can't make it.
Reason?
I have no excuses and reasons for myself.
sob sob /:..O~ *COL*

Again I wish my life is gonna better start from NOW


********************************************

Pencil: I'm sorry

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
Pencil: I'm sorr...y cos you get hurt bcos of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.
Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad. :)


I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational. Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way... they get hurt, and become smaller (older, and eventually pass on). Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.


"All my life, I've been the pencil.. And it pains me to see the eraser that is my parents getting smaller and smaller each day. For I know that one day, all that I'm left with would be eraser shavings and memories of what I used to have..."

This is to all the parents out there...See More
By: Lai Jun Wei

bestie=my life

 I had a nice night with my bestie yesterday night.
Once I pick her up from her house till we heading to a cafe, Me and Paik Yee had a marathon talk for few hours.
wow~
I miss her so much. She is one of my bestie^^
such a long time we didn't chat from what we both busy for our life in different part of geographic location.
We talk a lots that how was her life goes on and how was my life goes for this few months.

How nice if she finished her study now and we can hang out in KL all the times=D

Recently I also "yum cha" (tea session) with my best friend who still stay in my hometown. Luckily they are available to accompany all the times.

How much I miss my old times when I hang out with my bestie Peng, Eve, Paik Yee....hehe~ I knew this is going to happen on my life soon. ^^ hang out , movie and shopping together=D I miss it so much.
I also missed so much when I'm in KL mingle with Yuki, Syao, Steng, Manni, Aiwen....nice~ =D I will look for them soon once I have my stable life back. I can't live without my besties. They support me and care for me all the times=D
When I have my bestie time then it just make my life feel more better and FUN!! =D
We have our own different life, different background and different mindset.
Some people just say must be a common then only will try to pull us to get closer . I think it's not necessary have some common in between, as long as we have the chemical to stick us together like a magnet then will be. <3 I heart you all~
I wish it will stay forever and ever.

confuse

This lately I have nothing much to blog about cause I just stay at home with my family all the times^^
hmmm...

Hope I will get the job soon and while waiting for the job reply me, I will work as freelancer until I get the permanent job.

Now I'm abit worried about where I'm gonna stay and what kind of job I'm interested in.
I starting to get annoyed when my relative start to ask me when I will start my work and what job I'm gonna work as. How I'm gonna know what I will work as? just go with the flow.

To be honest, so far I still don't know what kind of job I'm interested in. So many things so consider.
sigh! $ comes first right? I better don't think so much just work first^^

.............................................................

My face suffering serious acne AGAIN.

Don't feel to go out with my super ugly face. 

I think I will go and consult Dr. Ting in Jalan Imbi already.

Dr Koo in Klang just gave me control oil pills(RM6/capsule) once I stop consume the pills, acne will visit me again.

Shit

I hate you acne!

 

shame on you

 We should appreciate what we have and have a lovely family.

Not look down on your(he) own family background and choose to stick to rich people(he) who stranger and so called your friend and make your(he) life look better.

He able to spend you everything, give you everything even your parents won't pay for you on this kind of luxury things. think about that. You just betrayed yourself and your life in order to get this unnecessary luxury thingy.
Just remember you're not woman. A.H.=)

Look at yourself(himself), How pathetic you're.

Just be yourself dick, don't act someone who doesn't exist at all.

Be proud of your family and your life. your life is much more better than anyone else. 

Just be more grateful and stop complaints. 

People will hiding their true background that they think is ugly behind their friends.

they will try so hard to cover up with kind of stories in order to captivate and make people to envy about how amazing and how luxury life they are living right now.

To be honest, I look down on this kind of people. No offense.

There is nothing to feel ugly with your background even you don't have that life you chasing for 

and compare your life with those people.

If you don't have this ability and not capable then just be yourself but you choose to lied to anyone else.

You suck! dick ^^

Munich

Pass by a lake which is full of ducks~^^ when I heading to BMW museum

Some picture taken by me inside BMW musuem

My dream car^^ X6

Then we heading to don't knoe called what places to try their German sausage ^^

Yummy Yummy

It's super hot on that day

Tadah~! German Sausage with beer

This Sausage stall is crowded with people who enjoy their foods and beer.

They drink beer in anytime anywhere.just relax and always bask them in the sun~

Shopping street with luxury brand like LV, Gucci, Feragamo, Chanel, Dior and lots of I don't know brand but it's super expensive that type.

Heading to somewhere ^^

 

dinner time in one of the restaurant 

We having pig leg

Soup

Beer AGAIN, home made . the restaurant make their own beer.!

amazing!

Pig leg. super full . Burp!burp!

I love this choc cake , not too sweet and just nice~ magnificent! credit to this dessert.

Cube Hotel .

Nice and pretty hotel

Rome, Italy

The gate in Italy

A lots of people in Italy riding vespa and scooters

The most famous church

but I forgot the name d..paiseh~hehe *blush*

Four Love Fountain

If not mistake==

We just stand in front of the fountain and back face to the fountain and use your right hand side to throw the coin to the left hand side into the fountain and make a wish for your love~^^

I did it~ there is so pack like sardine and hot like hell....

swt==!!! All the places that I visit I never experience in the night time except Paris cause night time abit dangerous for Italy. haiz~ sob sob...

must be a nice different scene at night.

 

Collosuem*the spelling i think is correct if not mistake* hehe paiseh~

Most of the place I also forgot their name already.
Sorry. I kind of lazy to google it.
Not much mood to blog but just feel to share the picture with you all with the places that I had visited
=)

one of the attraction for that stair case and building

David on naked

SSL Trader Hotel

Not bad but not What i expected 

First time to have this dish.^^

My favorite taufu oh my god!

This dish is extremely tasty

I love the way they cook!!!!

Quek! quek!

It's duck but I don't know the name hehe... not bad~not bad

It's sepcial I never eat before

yummy ~~yummy

My favorite steam fish!!!!! 

I love fish so much~

hmm~~

In conclusion 

I'm super satisfy with this dinner with my family!!!

Ngek ngek ngek~~ happy happy~

The restaurant is located in Taiping SSL Trader Hotel in Kamunting.

I will visit AGAIN!